Church: Don’t set up your “singles”

Here’s the problem with teh interwebz. For every great article/blog post/comment you read, there are a million not-great ones that you have to sift through to get there.

Sometimes you don’t even have to go looking for them. More often than not it appears in your Facebook feed. That’s what happened a few days ago. This article was shared by a fb friend, as despite knowing their good intentions in sharing it, this article is so wrong it’s not even funny.

Before I tell you why, let me be up front and say as soon as I saw the title of this article (Church: set up your singles) I knew I was going to hate it for 2 reasons – 1) a ‘single’ is an individually wrapped piece of cheese. I am a person. The whole Christian world should STOP. CALLING. ME. A. SINGLE. 2) The article wasn’t called “Church: encourage all people to follow Jesus, regardless of their marital status”.

There’s too many things wrong with the theology of this article to possibly mention all of them, but let me tell the 3 most discouraging and dangerous errors.

1. Is singleness good?

A friend asked me recently, “If God said it is not good for man to be alone, but all he does is good, is my singleness actually good?” Sometimes the best answer to difficult questions is to just say, “I don’t know but he is good,” and so I did.

If someone asks you if their singleness is good the correct answer is yes! I know this because God has told us it is good.

1 Corinthians 7:7 says

I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

The 2 gifts Paul is talking about are marriage and singleness. (see the comments on this post for more detail on the Greek of this verse). Singleness is a gift. The Greek word used is charisma (literally ‘grace gift’) and is the same word used in chapter 12 about spiritual gifts. Singleness is a good gift from a good God. Of course, sometimes it feels like the kind of gift you get and give a fake smile in response, while inwardly thinking ‘what do I want this for? Can I exchange it for what she has, please?”

That’s exactly the reason I need to be reminded it’s good. When I’m finding it hard, and sad, and bitter I need my Christian family to remind me that God is good and he wants good things for me, and that even when I hate it, yes, my singleness is good.

(For those who are single, this what I want you to know about your gift.)

2. Is marriage a glimpse of the eternal marriage?

Help your unmarried brothers and sisters taste a glimpse of the eternal marriage by helping them get married.

Yes, it is. But in the same way singleness is itself a glimpse into eternity.

Andrew Cameron says it best

Jesus’ new teaching arises from the new future. It turns out that human marriages are not reinstated in the new future, because they point to the ultimate ‘marriage’ – a final union between Christ and his people (Eph 5:29-32; Rev 19:6-8; 21:2, 9-11; cf 22:17). But we need a little more theological detective work to determine how chaste singleness points to the new future.

In the new future, John looks and sees ‘a vast multitude from every nation, tribe, and language, which no one could number, standing before the throne and before the lamb’ (Rev 7:9). The significance of normal social identity markers (nation, tribe, people and language) has melted away. The markers remain visible – but people now gather on a new basis other than ties of culture genes or kinship. These structure social life now, but not then. As theologian Oliver O’Donovan puts it ‘Humanity in the presence of God will know a community in which the fidelity of love which marriage makes possibly will be extended beyond the limits of marriage.’

Single people offer a glimpse of this kind of society. They’re harbingers of an aspect of heavenly community, because they’re not constrained by family boundaries of genetics and kinship. They know how care and intimacy can go beyond family boundaries. They nudge members of families out of the introverted obsession with family life that becomes its dark side. They remind families that God calls everyone into the ‘great multitude’, and they call couples and families to attend to the wider community, and t0 point to heaven. (Joined-up Life, 234-235)

If I was to rewrite this sentence in the article it would say ‘Help your unmarried brothers and sisters taste a glimpse of the eternal marriage by sharing your life with them. Likewise, you too can taste a glimpse of eternal community by sharing in their life.’

3. What’s missing from a single person’s life?

It is not good for a man to be alone and he who finds a wife finds goodness, but it takes the beauty of a family to see the goodness far below the surface and in the crevices of these clay jars. Church, be that family, be the mothers and father, the sisters and brothers. Guide them, protect them, show them what is true and good and honorable in marriage, and then, please, help them get there.

It is true, it’s not good for anyone to be alone but as Christians we must recognise that our loneliness is only fully met in Jesus. Earthly marriage is but a shadow of this, and it’s a shadow that, no matter how good, will never completely satisfy our need. Jesus is the one who does that. The answer to the lonely single person is not simple ‘get married’ (though of course they may) but to enjoy Jesus and his people.

This paragraph should say “It is not good for anyone to be lonely. Church, to those who are lonely, be their family. Be their mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers. Guide them, protect them, show them what is true and good and honourable in following Jesus and run the race beside them.”

(Here’s more stuff I’ve written about singleness)

A promise that all wrongs will be righted

So on Monday this happened in Sydney.

Then on Wednesday this happened in Pakistan.

A friend posted this on Facebook yesterday

I wish I could draw a line under the events of this week and quickly and clearly express all my feelings and opinions about what is happening in the world. I am a confused mess of anger and blame and indifference.

It summed up exactly how I feel. So I’ve found it hard to respond to what’s been happening. But David nails it –

“One of the jarring aspects of this whole tragedy is that it all happened just 10 days before Christmas. Sydney has, in the last week, gone into Christmas mode. There’s always that discernible change in vibe from just the season where all the big stores have their decorations up and start plugging gifts for purchase to that moment when the shoppers are in the mood too. I think we got there last week. The Lindt Café would have been decked out in Christmas finery as Man Haron Monis burst through the doors.

Of course, the most jarring difference is that between the actions of Monis and those of the One who those decorations are celebrating. It’s the same jarring difference between all man-made religion and the only true religion; trust in the Lord Jesus Christ of whom the angel says,

Matt. 1:21 “[Mary] will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.”

Here is real redemption. Not that I save myself by my actions and am rewarded by a merciful God (again, note the contradiction in terms) but that another comes and saves me. Here is redemption already won for me, as Zechariah prophesies,

Luke 1:68    “Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, for he has visited and redeemed his people”

There is no Jihad in following Jesus. All the struggle is done for us. In fact the opposite is true, we are urged in a sense not to struggle.

Rom. 4:4-8 Now to the one who works, his wages are not counted as a gift but as his due.  And to the one who does not work but believes in him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is counted as righteousness,  just as David also speaks of the blessing of the one to whom God counts righteousness apart from works:

“Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven, and whose sins are covered; blessed is the man against whom the Lord will not count his sin.”

Much could be said about this and some contrasts are obvious, if not already much-stated. Both struggles for redemption are costly. For Monis there was not only the cost of his own life but that of others. He no doubt understood that their death was part of his jihad and justified, as do many others who have acted and will go on to act in similar ways. Jesus, on the other hand, offers up His own life not for His own benefit but for those who have sinned against Him.

That is not to say that Jesus does not look forward to paradise. The Scriptures are clear, pointing us to

Heb. 12:2… Jesus, … who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

But this is where the similarity ends. Monis, and others like him, look to the death of others who they view as being sinful as their own pathway to paradise.

Jesus offers up His own life so that those who are sinful may be carried to paradise.

Therefore the only answer to the sin and destruction of yesterday is Jesus. He brings redemption to all, no matter what they have done, if only they will trust Him, place their confidence in Him and His death on their behalf.

And He also shows us how to respond, to love our enemies and to seek their redemption. He brings comfort to the grieving and (not to be forgotten) a promise that all wrongs will be righted.

The events in Sydney over the last 24 hours have not ruined Christmas. Nothing can ruin Christmas – for the coming of Jesus into the World is greater than any other event. If anything, the deaths of 3 people in the Lindt Café only serves to demonstrate just how wonderful and necessary Christmas is.”

Read the whole thing here.

Exodus: One God and many kings

exodus_gods_and_kings_movie-wideLast night I saw Exodus: Gods and Kings. I’ll never understand why anyone would make a movie based on a bible story and change the story so much. If they told the story as it is in the bible it would be a much more cohesive story. Despite this it was enjoyable and here are 3 things I loved about it.

1. God is in charge

Throughout the movie there are plenty of characters who think they’re in charge, Pharaoh & Moses being the 2 big ones. Obviously Moses is the focus of the movie and from the beginning it’s clear there’s big things ahead for him, but the harder he tries to control things – his life, his future, his gang of rebellious Hebrews – the clearer it becomes that he is useless without God. During one conversation between God and Moses, God points out Moses’ failure and tells Moses to stop and watch. This is just before the plagues start and when they come it is crystal clear who is in control of them. It ain’t Moses.

2. God is powerful

Speaking of plagues, they are impressive. Big, powerful, devastating. The only thing more impressive is the one in control of them. His power is held in stark contrast to the gods of the Egyptians who are silent and powerless. The only god or king that holds real power in this story is the God of the Hebrews.

3. God has a plan

It’s clear that God has not forgotten his people. He always had a plan to save them from slavery. He always planned to keep his promise to lead them into the land of Canaan.

The story may have deviated from the biblical narrative in parts, but these are tremendous biblical truths about the God of the Hebrews. The one true God who had a plan not only for the Hebrews, but for the whole word. This plan was fulfilled in the person of Jesus, who came to rescue us from our own slavery, to sin and death.

Find out more about Jesus and God’s plan for freedom here. 

“I am making everything new “

IMG_7053This is beautiful, yet temporary hope in this broken world.

This is eternal hope for a world made new.

Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes.There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children. But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”

Revelation 21:1-8

Inside the mind of Alzheimer’s

Over the past few weeks podcasts have become my new obsession. I’ll admit it started because I was looking for something to listen to in-between Serial episodes (If you don’t know what I’m talking about stop reading and start binge listening to it immediately!).

One of the podcasts I stumble upon is Strangers. Though it’s not my favourite, I quite enjoy it and the latest episode (called Mind Shaft) blew me away. The host, Lea Thau, interviews Greg O’Brien, an investigative reporter diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s.

Greg shares what’s it like to experience this horrible disease from the inside. He describes Alzheimer’s as dark and scary – ‘a mind that’s 5 miles deep’.

OnPlutoHe tells his story because ‘if I’m not pushing forward … I’m falling backwards’. He’s eloquent and charming and tells a fascinating story. But it’s also incredibly sad, because he knows how it ends.

Greg has also written a book about his experience called On Pluto: Inside the Mind of Alzheimer’s. I’ve just bought it and will post more about it when I’ve read it.

Listen to the podcast here. Buy Greg’s book here.

The app every woman should know about

I’ve known about this app for a while. When I first heard about it I thought it was a brilliant, and possibly life-saving idea. And then I forgot all about it.

Until I read this article yesterday and 2 things terrified me.

  1. Queensland domestic violence help line calls are going unanswered. Because the need for help outweighs their capacity. So women who are in possibly life-threatening situations, aren’t able to get help.
  2. In Australia we have at least 1 Senator who believes it’s ok for a man to put a woman in a headlock sometimes. Frightening.

So, back to the Aspire News app. Created by Robin McGraw, here’s how her website describes it

ASPIRE News is a free application which contains summaries of top stories in world, sports, and entertainment news, from the When Georgia Smiled: Robin McGraw Foundation (and powered by Yahoo!).

Additionally, if someone you know is in an abusive relationship—or if that someone is you—the Help Section of the application contains resources for victims of domestic violence.

This app does not serve as a replacement for emergency services—in any situation where you feel that you may be at risk, please dial 911 or your local emergency number.

If you are caught in a domestic violence situation you can open the app (which looks like any run-of-the-mill news app) triple tap on the bar at the top of the screen and the app will send a pre-typed message to 3 trusted contacts, to let them know you need emergency help.

Every screen on the app also has a X that you can click to quickly exit back to the ‘news page’ if you need to hide what you’re doing.

Aspire News app is available for iPhone and Android. Find out more here.

We will tell the next generation…

From Psalm 78:4-7

We will not hide them from their descendants;
    we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord,
    his power, and the wonders he has done.
He decreed statutes for Jacob
    and established the law in Israel,
which he commanded our ancestors
    to teach their children,
so the next generation would know them,
    even the children yet to be born,
    and they in turn would tell their children.
Then they would put their trust in God
    and would not forget his deeds
    but would keep his commands.

Old Testament Israel had much to tell their children. Amongst the praiseworthy deeds of their Lord, was the salvation of a nation from slavery in Egypt. After such a miraculous display of power and love, you would hardly think they would need to be reminded to tell their children. Surely they would be telling their children at every opportunity because they want their kids to have trust in such a loving and powerful God. And wouldn’t they want their kids to be ready to tell the next generation too?

What about us? We’ve seen an act of salvation that exceeds the greatness of the exodus. Jesus’ death & resurrection is the greatest act of salvation the world has ever seen. It’s the greatest display of love, kindness, and power anyone will ever see. Surely, we should be telling our children of the praise worthy deeds of the Lord, at every opportunity – so that they would put their trust in the Lord and they in turn will tell their children?

Or do we, like the Israelites, need to be reminded to tell our children?

The responsibility to teach the next generation can not be delegated only to an elite group of people with gifts for teaching kids (though, certainly those who are gifted in that way should use their gifts!). Likewise, it can not be delegated only to parents. The responsibility to teach the next generation is all of ours. We are all members of God’s family, and this instruction is for all of us. From teaching kids’ church to SRE to simply reading the bible with a child, there are many ways for us to be a part of it.

How will you tell the next generation?