What not to say to your single friends… #3


#3 – I can’t understand why you’re not married

Before I started writing these I asked a bunch of single friends the question of what they find unhelpful to hear and this one took me a bit by surprise at first.

But the more I thought about the more it made sense. Because while it may seem to be a compliment, it is actually making marital status about worth. “I can’t understand why you’re not married, because you seem worthy to me’ is the sentiment behind this.

Making marriage about a persons worth is clearly unbiblical thinking. In 1 Corinthians 7:7 both marriage and singleness are described as gifts that are given from God’s grace. To misunderstand marriage to be about worth puts us in a hopeless situation – because its likely to make us start working towards being worthy. And if we are working towards that end, I suspect that will take away from what we should be working towards. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:24

Each person should remain with God in whatever situation he was called.

I don’t think this necessarily means your situation won’t change…. but it might mean that. I think the important thing is that we should remain with God, whatever our situation, and do it to his glory. If you are single – be single to God’s glory and if you are married, be married to God’s glory. And that will be a little easier once we are clear in our knowledge that martial status is not about worth.

Because ultimately no-one is worthy of God’s grace or any of the good gifts he gives us.

Read #1 & #2

2 thoughts on “What not to say to your single friends… #3

  1. Thanks for the comments about Marriage and worth being separate.

    The first three lines have been good! Keep it up.

  2. right, let’s subvert this ;-)

    None of us will ever understand why some get married and some don’t. After all, “the Lord gives…”

    oh, and *koff* you’re *koff*


    enjoy eQuip, see you tomorrow.

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