#3 – I can’t understand why you’re not married
Before I started writing these I asked a bunch of single friends the question of what they find unhelpful to hear and this one took me a bit by surprise at first.
But the more I thought about the more it made sense. Because while it may seem to be a compliment, it is actually making marital status about worth. “I can’t understand why you’re not married, because you seem worthy to me’ is the sentiment behind this.
Making marriage about a persons worth is clearly unbiblical thinking. In 1 Corinthians 7:7 both marriage and singleness are described as gifts that are given from God’s grace. To misunderstand marriage to be about worth puts us in a hopeless situation – because its likely to make us start working towards being worthy. And if we are working towards that end, I suspect that will take away from what we should be working towards. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:24
Each person should remain with God in whatever situation he was called.
I don’t think this necessarily means your situation won’t change…. but it might mean that. I think the important thing is that we should remain with God, whatever our situation, and do it to his glory. If you are single – be single to God’s glory and if you are married, be married to God’s glory. And that will be a little easier once we are clear in our knowledge that martial status is not about worth.
Because ultimately no-one is worthy of God’s grace or any of the good gifts he gives us.
Thanks for the comments about Marriage and worth being separate.
The first three lines have been good! Keep it up.
right, let’s subvert this ;-)
None of us will ever understand why some get married and some don’t. After all, “the Lord gives…”
oh, and *koff* you’re *koff*
enjoy eQuip, see you tomorrow.