What I want to say to my single friends…


Your singleness is not for your sake

Back here I talked about 1 Corinthians 7 and Paul’s description of singleness as a gift.

He talks further about this at the end of the chapter

I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs – how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world – how he can please his wife – and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married women is concerned about the affairs of this world – how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in the right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. 1 Corinthians 7:32-35

Singleness is not a chance to make life all about us. God has given us singleness as a gift to serve him in ‘undivided devotion’. There’s nothing that will stop this from happening more than wallowing in self pity.

I understand that singleness is lonely – I get it. I also get that, while the truth is that singleness is a gift, it rarely feels like one. I pray and I hope that in those times of loneliness you would turn to God for satisfaction. I pray that God would bless you with wonderful and understanding friends.

BUT… I also pray that you don’t get so caught up in that loneliness that you forget the point of your singleness. It is not a gift for you. It’s a gift for the Lord and for the church. Like the spiritual gifts in 1 Corinthians 12, it is given ‘for the common good’. My experience has been that once you realise that being single is a gift, and (whether you feel it or not) start exploiting it as a gift and serving God with it, you will get joy from it.

So my advice is to use your gift as it was intended – undivided devotion to your Lord.

Don’t wallow. Get up and serve!

6 thoughts on “What I want to say to my single friends…

  1. hey kate, thanks for all the reads. I’ve been following since alli forwarded your blog. This post was really encouraging because recently i was completely struck by the exact same thoughts (maybe not quite as coherent as yours). love to hear more.

  2. As my years of singleness become ever more rapidly just memories, its been an encouragement to be reminded of the importance of ministering to, and relating to my friends who are single at this point in time.

    I pray that i will always be an encouragemnet to all my brothers and sisters in Christ no matter what their ‘relational status’. Thanks Kate :)

  3. Pingback: Church: Don’t set up your “singles” | a girl who speaks

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