Tonight I sat at dinner chatting to 2 of my dear Christian sisters, watching each of them fight back tears talking about the lovely, non-Christian men pursuing relationships with them. As they were talking about the things they find the hardest about the situation, I realised there are 2 things that make the loneliness they’re feeling worse –
- Their non-Christian friends simply don’t get it – they don’t understand why a woman would turn down a guy based on something they equate with a hobby
- (As much as I HATE the us/them divide) their married friends don’t get it either – maybe it’s because they have never experienced being in your 30’s and single but it seems like most married people have no comprehension of how intense that loneliness is. Some of the most insensitive and ridiculous comments I’ve heard have come from married Christian friends.
Harsh, I know but I’m so frustrated. As Christians surely we should be trying harder. Because it’s not simply a matter of whether of not you can sympathise with someone, it’s about trying to work out how to love them despite being unable to sympathise. Married friends – when was the last time you had a conversation with a single christian friend about their struggle with singleness? And who initiated it? If you’re not sure how to be helpful to them I recommend this question – ‘what can I do to help you?’. You could also substitute the word ‘help’ for ‘support’ or ‘love’ – but be prepared to follow through.
Anyway, I was thankful tonight that I’m single, so I could love my sisters. Please pray for them.