On being an extrovert

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The thing about being an extrovert (at least for me) is that it’s not just that I love spending time with people, or that I love chatting things through with people, it’s that I need to do those things. I process things out loud. Which is one of the main reasons why I can’t make a major decision without telling pretty much everyone I know. And it’s about more than getting advice. Yes, advice does help, but it’s when I say things that I process them in my head too. I think best when I’m talking.

Tonight I realised 2 reasons why this makes ministry difficult. The first is that in the middle of a hard conversation with someone thinking out loud is pretty unhelpful. The second, and more difficult, is after that conversation I really need to talk about it! In the absence of a husband its hard to know who is an appropriate person to debrief with. Tonight the answer is no-one. So during my very long drive home I tried the distraction method – listen to loud music, plan a Sunday school lesson in my head etc etc… anything but think about the conversation I just had. Because at this moment thinking about it just equals me running over everything I said or didn’t say trying to work out how badly I screwed it up. That’s probably not heathy right?

But on the bright side I have a new journey of self discovery – finding the art of processing things in silence.

Two kinds of wisdom

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James 3:13Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. 16For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

17But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

Knowing how to helpfully teach this passage to 8-11 year olds must be a third kind of wisdom. But I’m much happier spending my time on this than spending it writing essays.

An election first

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I’ll admit that I’ve never been much into politics. Which was partly ignorance and partly apathy. But recently I’ve realised how important this stuff is, especially for Christians (I know I’m a little slow) and so I’m trying my best, with lots of help from others, to get informed and interested.

So today I voted – hopefully it was a relatively informed vote (baby steps right? ;) ). And for the first time ever I voted below the line on my Senate ballot!

A side note – I’ve been disappointed with the fact that the funding of Mental Health care seems to be bit of a peripheral issue in the election hype. I’d love to see this change and for our government to take this seriously. So I’m looking forward to writing to my House of Reps member (once I know who it is) to make sure they know the electorate of Lindsay cares about this issue!

What’s wrong with the fashion industry??

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Here’s at least some of the answers to that question.

An excellent article by Melinda Tankard Reist. But what is particularly ridiculous is what’s happening in the comments. Pay attention to ‘Good Charlotte’ (AKA Charlotte Dawson from Australia’s Next Top Model. Her main point seems to be that the industry is what it is and she is unwilling to take any personal responsibility or efforts to change. Problem is, if everyone in the industry thinks that who will change it?

Bonhoeffer on suffering

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It is infinitely easier to suffer in obedience to a human order than in the freedom of one’s own personal, responsible deed. It is infinitely easier to suffer in company than alone. It is infinitely easier to suffer publicly and with honour than out of the public eye and  in disgrace. It is infinitely easier to suffer through staking one’s life than to suffer spiritually. Christ suffered in freedom, alone, out of the public eye and in disgrace, in body and spirit; and since then many Christians have suffered with him.

From Letters and Papers from Prison.

Do not resuscitate

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It’s one of those things you see in TV shows all the time. I’ve lost counts of the number of times a story on Grey’s Anatomy has revolved around a DNR (do not resuscitate) signed by patient, then disputed by a loved one. How about when Issy was unconscious after surgery on her brain. Alex, her new husband pleads for the doctors to do something. Insert suspenseful 2 minutes before the chief exclaims “screw the DNR” and they save her life.

It makes for exciting TV and until this morning meant little more than that to me personally. But this morning my mum signed a DNR order for my Grandma. Strangely since then all I can think about is every TV show I’ve seen when a doctor ignores a DNR and the patient miraculously survives.

This is a little different though. Firstly you may wonder why my mum signed it and not my Grandma herself. Grandma lives in the dementia ward of a nursing home. She has Alzheimer’s disease. Mum has power of attorney so this is just one among many tough decisions she has to make for her mum.

I think she’s doing the right thing. If something happens and Grandma is in a situation that requires resuscitating, even if doctors successfully revive her, she’s still going to have Alzheimer’s. She still won’t know who any of us are. She still won’t remember how to talk. She’ll still need someone to feed her. And bath her. They can revive her a hundred times over but she’s not Grandma anymore and she won’t ever be again. She won’t ever have it good again in this life. But I know where she’s going when she dies and she will have it great then!

I love her and I miss her so much. There’s never a day I don’t pray for her. Everyday the same prayer. Jesus, please make today the day you take her home.

Want to know where you’re going when you die? Find out here.