Complementarianism and Egalitarianism: the coming divide

Some great posts happening at The Sola Panel.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

(via Mark)

*Edit: Part 4 is now up.

While I think these posts are excellent, I do think there is an aspect that is missing in this discussion. In my own exchanges with egalitarians it has been made very clear that for them there is an experiential aspect to their conclusion. For them (the people I have had interaction with) the basis of their exploration and final conviction of egalitarianism is that when complementarianism goes wrong, it goes *extremely* wrong, and generally for the woman. Some of the woman were themselves the victim of this – their husbands and/or pastors using complementary teachings as an excuse for behaviour that is nothing short of abuse of the woman in their lives. We need to engage in this part of the discussion too. First and foremost recognise that what these women have experienced is absolutely wrong and terrible, and (remembering our unity in Christ) humbly walk with them through their healing process.

If you want a glimpse into what I’m talking about read the comments on this post (particularly those from molleth).

“You want to be ordained in Sydney???”

I had a conversation today about studying at college and what I do at church etc etc. At one point I was asked what I planned to do after college and the conversation went something like this.

Guy: So what do you want to do after college?
Me: Well I’m hoping that after college the Sydney diocese will ordain me and then I’ll work in a church somewhere in Sydney.

 

Well, the smug, superior look on his face told me exactly what he thought of that. But to confirm it the next question was

Guy: As a minister?
Me: As a deacon, yes.
Guy: So not as clergy.

 

The conversation continue briefly while I tried to convince this man that the Sydney diocese of the Anglican church does in fact respect and value the ministry of women.

His response communicated to me that he was making judgements about me, and as it turns out they where judgements from nothing but ignorance. I patiently answered his questions, although it was clear he didn’t believe a word I was saying, but what I really wanted to say was that you might think the Anglican church hates me, but your ignorance, snap judgements and smug look show me that you’re the one that lacks respect. You’re the one that doubts my ability to make an informed, intelligent and biblical decision. You’re the one who thinks I’m less than based on what I do/don’t do and because I don’t agree with you. In that 5 minute conversation I felt less valued than my church has ever made me feel. Thanks for that.

Euthanasia question needs wider discussion

An excellent article from Dr Andrew Cameron. From SMH.

Australians are overwhelmingly in favour of euthanasia. Who can resist the will of the people? So goes the pro-death argument for this sweeping social change.

A much quoted 2009 survey, commissioned by the pro-euthanasia group Dying with Dignity, reports 85 per cent support for the practice. As is always the case, support is more muted among the over-65s: the prospect of death, it turns out, does concentrate the mind.

Even so, the survey elicited more than 80 per cent support among each age bracket of its 1201 respondents.

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There is just one problem: it consisted of a telephone poll asking a single leading question. Interviewers emphasised the syllables as printed: ”If a hopelessly ill patient, experiencing unrelievable suffering, with absolutely no chance of recovering asks for a lethal dose, should a doctor be allowed to provide a lethal dose, or not?”

Try answering that while you are cooking the dinner or bathing the kids. The question is wildly emotive (”hopelessly”, ”unrelievable suffering”, ”absolutely no chance”).

We hate the thought of death and pain, and in the moment, most of us would simply respond out of shock and without much thought. The question leverages our preference to politely say ”yes” instead of ”no”.

Its assumptions are also completely contestable. Illness does not have to be ”hopeless”, and suffering is often very relievable. Where euthanasia is legal, more ask for it due to loneliness than pain, or so as not to burden another. The survey, therefore, distracts us from other options.

It does not ask, ”Would you change your mind if the lonely had companions, and the fearful someone to listen?” Nor does it ask, ”What would enable people to accept care without shame?” Nor does it ask, ”Would you like to see more funding for pain management research and practice?”

We are seeing a deliberate blurring of the lines at the very time society needs clarity on such a serious and far-reaching measure. The deliberate killing of a person in euthanasia must be distinguished from the withdrawal of treatment, and from management of symptoms at the end of life.

I write as a Christian. Before we hare off on the usual mantra that I am ”imposing my values” – as if those who support euthanasia are not – here is a case where the Bible’s prohibition of killing innocent humans is a no-brainer, even if we agree about little else. For this prohibition generates a community that upholds and cares for others at their weakest and most vulnerable. The prohibition against deliberate killing of innocent human life is what impels us to research and practise good palliative care.

It enables trust within patient-carer and patient-relative relationships. It frees the ill person from constantly having to interrogate the hidden motives of those around them, and allows them to accept their care without shame. It says to all of us that, burden or not, we can stop being productive, and allow others to help us.

Without this prohibition, we will see a creeping expansion of candidates for euthanasia. By the time voluntary euthanasia was legalised in the Netherlands in 2002 you didn’t have to be terminally ill to qualify: ”mental torment” sufficed. Those in that country who support euthanasia now argue that elderly people should have the option if they are simply ”tired of life”.

At the other end of life, a Dutch hospital published the Groningen Protocol in 2005 for euthanising newborns – nothing ”voluntary” there.

This creeping expansion simply corrodes a society’s will to fund care and cures for the poor, the elderly, the depressed, the disabled and the otherwise vulnerable.

There are far more pressing matters for our limited political will and energy, if only we could get to them, such as indigenous health.

Meanwhile, we are saddled with the prospect of a subversion of healthcare that deserves no place on any government’s agenda.

If Greens politicians believe voluntary euthanasia is the public policy priority of first importance for the new Parliament, so be it. But this total about-face on a central principle of healthcare deserves an election mandate; or at very least, some appropriately convened committee of parliamentary inquiry. A phone call and a badly worded question over dinner does not quite cut it.

Dr Andrew Cameron is chairman of the Social Issues Executive for the Anglican Diocese of Sydney.

 

How Not To Rape People: A Handy Guide For Modern Men And Footballers

The Problem:

In my perusings of the modern media landscape, a worrying trend has come to my attention: young men who apparently just can’t stop having non-consensual sex with others. It’s a tricky problem, and one to which there are, clearly, no easy solutions. I mean, it’s all very well to say “No means no”, but as popular ex-footballer/arachnid Peter “Spida” Everitt says, when a girl goes home with a guy at 3am, it’s not for a cup of Milo. So we can see there are two sides to every story: on the one hand, a young lady might feel violated, but on the other hand, why do these women keep going round to strangers’ houses in the hopes of having some Milo? Why don’t they buy their OWN Milo? Young people today, I ask you.

But never fear. Ben has put together THE HANDY GUIDE TO NOT RAPING PEOPLE IN SEVEN EASY STEPS

Well worth a read if you find not raping girls difficult. And if you don’t it’s still worth reading for a different reason.

R U OK? Day

From headspace.

Staying connected with others is crucial to our general health and wellbeing and can help stop little problems turning into big ones. Feelings of isolation and being alone are major contributing factors to mental health and social issues. Regular, meaningful conversations can protect those we know and love.

It’s so simple – in the time it takes to have a coffee, you can start a conversation that could change a life.

Read about it here.

Then ask someone you care about ‘R U OK?’

Facebook and Breast Cancer

I’m sure you remember the fuss last year over the fb campaign to raise breast cancer awareness by putting the colour of your bra in your status. If you have no idea what I’m talking about your probably a guy, because it was a secret girls only campaign.

Well I’m about to spill the beans on this year’s scheme. This is the message I received in my fb inbox just a few days ago.

Remember the game last year about what color bra you were wearing at the moment? The purpose was to increase awareness of October Breast Cancer Awareness month. It was a tremendous success and we had men wondering for days what was with the colors and it made it to the news. This year’s game has to do with your handbag/purse, where we put our handbag the moment we get home for example “I like it on the couch”, “I like it on the kitchen counter”, “I like it on the dresser” well u get the idea. Just put your answer as your status with nothing more than that and cut n paste this message and forward to all your FB female friends to their inbox. The bra game made it to the news. Let’s see how powerful we women really are!!!

There’s so many things wrong with this I barely know where to start.

Call me stupid but I’m not sure what this actually achieves. Awareness means nothing if no-one does anything and this campaign doesn’t encourage anything other than the ridiculous sexualisation of a very serious issue. I want women to be encouraged to self examine their breasts, I want people to give money to research, I want women who have/have had breast cancer to have a voice and speak out about this issue but this silly campaign does none of this.

That’s my major issue but another question I have is why does this show ‘how powerful we women really are’? Because sex is power? Because having a secret over men is power? If that’s the case I suggest someone has a warped sense of power. If it’s not the case I’d love someone to explain it to me.

And speaking of having a secret over men, why on earth do we want to exclude men from breast cancer awareness? I know they don’t (as often) get breast cancer, but I’ll tell you who does: their mothers, and sisters, wives and daughters. This issue affects men too and its abhorrent that we would have an awareness campaign that leaves men out.

I myself have not had breast cancer but some people very near to me have. I want everyone to have an active awareness of it, but lets raise the issue in a way that it inclusive, sensitive and loving rather than sexualising it and objectifying women.

For more on the sexualisation of breast cancer campaigns read what Melinda has to say here.

Lynx Stynx!

CollectiveShout have had some great wins this week with campaigns that have resulted in action from Bonds, Gold Coast Turf Club and now Woolies, who have withdrawn from a Lynx promotion.

But the Lynx brand needs to hear more from women AND men who oppose its sexist and objectifying advertising. So CollectiveShout have launched the Lynx Stynx campaign.

Lynx is known for its sexist advertising, on billboards, in print, online and on TV. Lynx is a brand of deodorant, but what the company are also selling is the idea that women are there to be used and that men have an automatic entitlement to women’s bodies.

It’s time to send a strong message to Lynx and its parent company Unilever, that we will not tolerate this sexist, objectifying marketing targeted at teenage boys anymore.

One of the most offensive things about Lynx advertising is that its parent company, Unilever, also sells Dove and was responsible for the Dove, Real Beauty campaign. This is a company who, in order to sell products to women, claims to desire to

educate and inspire all young people on a wider definition of beauty.

Sounds great, except that it obviously means nothing to Unilever when it comes to selling products to men. This is hypocrisy at its worst and its effect on young boys and girls is devastating. It’s time for us to do something about it.

For more info on Unilever and Lynx and to find out how you can be involved visit CollectiveShout’s Lynx Stynx page.

A win for our girls

Yesterday CollectiveShout published this post about Bonds range of ‘bralettes’ which start at size 6. Size 6, of course is for 6 year olds. Hopefully I don’t need to explain the problem there.

Today they have reported this media release from Bonds, in response to yesterdays concerns voiced by CollectiveShout and their members

Media Statement
Wednesday 29 September 2010

BONDS WITHDRAWS GIRLS BRALETTE PRODUCT

Bonds has decided to withdraw all bra like products in girls sizes 6 and 8 from the market effective immediately.

Bonds takes its brand and product range extremely seriously, and is particularly conscious of the sensitivities of developing and marketing products for children.

The decision to remove these products from shelves has been made following recent consumer feedback regarding the “girls wideband bralette” product.

The rationale behind offering the range was to meet a consumer need of modesty, coverage and confidence.

In response of market sensitivities, we have instructed our retail partners to commence removal of these products from their shelves.

In light of this issue, Bonds has reinforced its children’s sizing policy for underwear, and will not be offering any children’s bralette or bra related product below a size 10.

Well done CollectiveShout and co. And well done Bonds for a good decision!